To See Me Smile

Three at a Table

When I was a baby

He'd lie near me

And watch me smiling

And when the nanny came

To give me a bath

I'd scream when water touched my eyes

And he would run

Run to his room and lock the doors

Because he couldn't stand me screaming

I didn't see him often

As most children see their grandparents

And when I did see him

I was never grateful

Because I couldn't wait to go and play

But I'd always sit with him

On a big hammock, and he'd tell me stories

I think I was a disappointment

As I got older

I gave this kind sweet man an attitude

I let him know I didn't want him there

It must have been much worse than my crying

I never got to love him

The way that he loved me

He forgave me for my mistakes

And gave me his unconditional love

But I always pushed away

And now that he's gone

I regret everything

I want to go back to those carefree days

Of telling stories and lying around

I want him to be there to see me happy

I just want to be able to smile for him

That's all it would take

I'm from old beat up furniture

Striped, spotted and stained

That made do for time being

I'm from small open rooms

Where secrets couldn't be contained

I'm from a large apartment

Where friends could run free

Lost from the world

I'm from flowers and walkways

Friendly and clean

I'm from a home far from relatives

With only Amma and Acha

As the only child

I'm from 3 at a table

And holidays sparse

I'm from friends won't be there

Until the end

And we do it because we love you

I'm from it doesn't matter

What other people do

I am from tangy spices

And hot rice with curry

With a vegetable on the side

I'm from cold sticky ice cream

And buttered-up breads

I am from a corner of the world

That has long gone from my life

From a particular street

I've never again visited

From a place where my past is kept

And observed from a distance